3 things you shouldn’t do when starting a new relationshipadmin
Have you finally found the right person for you? Oh how nice! This is absolutely wonderful and you should enjoy this period of excitement, butterflies and big emotions. But as great as this first time is, there are also some mistakes that you should not make in the initial euphoria. Psychologist Jeff Guenther knows the top three things not to do to give your new relationship the best chance.
1. Don’t think you’re really in love
Yes, that first point can be confusing. Because the feelings and the butterflies and the excitement are there and you want to spend every minute with the other person, you think about him/her all the time. Jeff Guenther points out that one is still not in love. You like the first impression of the person you meet, but you don’t know enough to really say you’re in love.
“You haven’t seen how exhausting and annoying the other person can be. If you know this site and still think they are the best thing that could have happened to you, then you can say you’re in love . In the current phase, you’re probably just very excited about how much potential the person has and projecting your hopes and desires onto them.” The rose-colored glasses at the beginning keep you from seeing red flags or problems. But before you know it, you shouldn’t talk about love and don’t get too worked up about the situation, according to the psychologist.
2. Take it slow
Again something that might go against the first impulse. After all, you’re super happy, super in love, and you’d love to throw yourself headfirst into this new situation. But beware! One shouldn’t spend all the time together or be in touch all the time. The psychologist advises seeing each other two to three times a week in the beginning and not being in contact throughout the day. How so?
“When you rush headlong into a relationship, you can make decisions that aren’t good for you in the long run. You’re not thinking rationally. I know it’s hard, but take it a little slower than you’d like. Relationships that start hot and heavy tend to burn out quicker and end dramatically,” says Jeff Guenther.
3. Don’t make big decisions
He*she is the right one? You are sure. So why not move in with him*her right away? Or embark on the trip around the world you’ve always dreamed of, or move away, or quit your job? If you read that as a rational person who isn’t in that newly in love emotion, you might realize: shit, those would be really stupid ideas!
Unfortunately, Jeff Guenther sees this very often, life changing decisions being made after the first few wonderful weeks. He strongly advises against it! If the new person asks you to make big life decisions early in the relationship, that should be a big RED FLAG. He advises: “Live your life and see if he * she fits into your life. You should only make big decisions when you have known each other for at least a year.”