5 things that happened when I went off the pill

depression

5 things that happened when I went off the pill

As a teenager you think the pill is the solution to all your problems. In adulthood you realize: she is much more likely to be the cause of it.

Pills in your pocket
I stopped using hormonal birth control over a year ago . After washing down a little pink pill with a sip of water at roughly exactly 8pm every day for almost seven years . At 17, when I happily ripped open the first pack and hoped that the pill would solve all my skin and birth control problems, I was in good spirits. And indeed: I haven’t had such beautiful skin for a long time, and from now on I no longer have to worry about my contraception. (Assuming I took them regularly – which, admittedly, wasn’t always the case.)

But what nobody told me at the time was how much it would change me. I never worried about that, my gynecologist never pointed out any side effects apart from the obvious risks, it seemed like this miracle pill was the solution to all my problems. Apart from the really dangerous health risks ( risk of thrombosis ! Risk of breast cancer!), I would never have thought for many years that my mood swings, constant tiredness, inexplicable listlessness, self-doubt, weight gain, pain in the chest – all of this also affects the little pill I swallowed every day.

When I finally decided to go off the pill after seven years – because some of my friends had already done so – I expected everything but not what really happened.

1: The bad news first
In the first few weeks, maybe even three months, I hardly noticed any difference. My body was probably still feeding on the “old hormones”. But at some point the horror started. My skin was deteriorating rapidly – suddenly I was breaking out in places that hadn’t seen pimples before (like my back) and struggling again with skin problems that took me back to my puberty. But much worse than the skin problems was the hair loss. I noticed how more and more hair was collecting on my clothes, in the brush, in the sink. The advice from various doctors that I should remain calm because it would level off again (but it will never be the same again) didn’t help much. What shocked me the most was the repeated advice – including from doctors – that I should simply take the pill again. Sort of delaying the whole thing. No thank you. In the meantime it has “levelled out” – and I hope it stays that way.

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2: I got to know my body

Yes, it will take some time before the cycle is back on track. The good thing about it: I got to know my body. So right and for the first time. A period app helped and now always shows me exactly when I will ovulate (ovulation is prevented during the pill period) and my menstrual period. Now it’s correct again. The disadvantage of the new body feeling: PMS-related mood swings and tiredness are added. Still, I’d rather feel dirty for a few days once a month than all the time.

3: I have more self-confidence

What sounds strange at first glance is actually true: without the pill I feel far less nervous in situations that would have robbed me of sleep before. You could also call it inner serenity. Because: Estrogen actually promotes anxiety, as I now know. But I would never have expected this change beforehand. Sometimes I even talk about “before” and “now” – because “before” I used to break out in a sweat when people stared at me on the subway. Today, none of that matters to me. And that’s a great feeling.

4: And more desire for sex

Women can REALLY feel like having sex. I often had serious doubts about this fact during my years on the pill because I just couldn’t understand it. It looks completely different today: ovulation, which, as already mentioned, was previously a foreign word, transports me into previously unknown worlds. Cheers to naturalness!

5: Energy, Energy, Energy

The listlessness during the pill period also spread to other areas, to my professional life for example. Many things were extremely difficult for me, and I often had the feeling that I was overtired, lethargic and broken. Shortly after I stopped taking the pill, I noticed this for the first time: I had more zest for life and energy. Had more desire to go out and was suddenly open to spontaneous adventures. Today I think to myself: I would have needed the energy I have now often in the past. Unfortunately it’s too late for that now. But I enjoy it all the more – the time and freedom after the pill.

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