Alarming signs that you are a toxic partneradmin
Sometimes things don’t go well in a relationship . This is basically quite normal and nothing to worry about. However, when it comes to repetitive patterns, and you’re wondering, “Why does this always happen to me?” – then it might even have something to do with you. Because even if psychological violence in a hetero relationship usually comes from men, there are of course also signs that women engage in toxic behavior.
To help you work on yourself – and your relationship – we’ve rounded up some of them:
1: You are very jealous
To some extent, jealousy is a normal feeling. However, when it becomes compulsive to control, it becomes dangerous. If you’re trying to shut your partner’s co-workers, girlfriends, and acquaintances out of their life, the warning lights should be flashing. By doing this, you are punishing your partner even if they didn’t do anything. And: in any case, it is better to face your fears and talk about them than to show passive-aggressive behavior.
2: You threaten
“If you do THIS, I’ll leave you!” Sentences like this can wreak havoc in a relationship. If you don’t really mean it, then you should choose another way of communicating. Because such statements are manipulative and scratch trust.
3: You take more than you give
There are phases in life when we need the help of others – and cannot be there for our partners one hundred percent. That’s okay. But if the constant taking has become the norm in your relationship, then you should consider whether you are doing harm to the other person. A sign of this: if you put your partner down in front of others, or make fun of them – because you think you know that they will stay anyway, and you are intentionally pushing your own self-confidence. This is toxic behavior and should have no place in a relationship.
4: You know that the relationship has no future
If you “come to terms” with your partner, even if you know that they are not the right one, then sooner or later unhealthy dynamics will arise in the relationship. Because obviously you two are not on the same wavelength and have different plans for the future. If you’re actually just waiting for someone else anyway, then you should break up. Anything else is selfish.
5: It’s never your fault
Just ask yourself one question: do you see yourself as partly responsible for conflicts in your relationship? If not, then you should reconsider. These can be “little things” like a toothbrush lying around or an uncleaned toilet, but also bigger arguments – it’s important to blame both of them and talk about it instead of constantly blaming the other.
6: You are not listening
You don’t have to be understanding and listening to other people’s concerns every day, but if you find yourself not listening to them or making worries ridiculous, then you should take a step back. After all, you are in this relationship together – constant impatience and only talking about yourself creates tension. And it’s not fair either.