How do you heal a broken heart?


How do you heal a broken heart?

For those of you who have had a broken heart (and I suspect all of you) know that it’s not only psychologically awful, it can also cause real, physical pain. Meanwhile, you only wish for one thing: that this stops as soon as possible. We have a few tips for you on how to speed up the healing of your broken heart. And just as a heads-up, some of these expert tips aren’t going to please you.

Allow yourself to feel
I know that sounds like terrible advice to expose yourself to those feelings when you might as well be drinking tequila with friends and making out with a stranger in a bar. But hear me out! Rebecca Hendrix , a psychotherapist, tells Glamor what happens when someone breaks up with us: “It’s a trauma. It’s a shock to our system.” Allow yourself to cry in the days after the breakup and acknowledge that a breakup is like any other type of loss. There are five stages of grief in a loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. So why shouldn’t you feel the feelings you have?

Don’t give these feelings all the space
Yes, you should acknowledge your feelings, feel, cry, scream – whatever helps you. But you must not allow these feelings to take over your entire existence. It is best to set a specific time frame, for example 60 minutes. In these 60 minutes you can cry, whine, scream, whatever you need. After that, you put the topic aside and do something that brings you joy and distracts you.

No communication with the ex
Oh, believe us when we tell you: we know how difficult this point is. Depending on how long you were together, you were everything to each other for a while. And suddenly that person is gone and all that’s left is a big hole. All you have to do is call or write a message. The temptation is great! But don’t do it!

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There’s a scientific reason why lovesickness hurts so much: After a breakup, you experience withdrawal symptoms because the feel-good hormones you got from your partner are suddenly gone. But just as you shouldn’t give in to smoking, even if withdrawal is difficult, you shouldn’t either. Experts from the Mend platform recommend that you should do a 60-day ex-detox in which you have as little contact as possible. Because every time you hear or see each other, a connection is created again, which you then have to cut again. Don’t do this to yourself!

Remember what shit was
Very few breakups really come as a surprise. Maybe things haven’t been going so well between you for a while anyway, but right now in your pain of separation you naturally hide it. What wasn’t great? What drove you crazy and annoyed you a lot? Remember it. Every relationship has good and bad sides, but you shouldn’t just stick to the good ones.

Take care of your needs
A face mask is not necessarily meant here, you will only feel better to a limited extent afterwards. But it’s important that you listen to your needs during this lovesick phase. What do you need? Make sure you don’t eat too much or too little, and don’t get enough or too little sleep. Because that makes you feel even worse. Even if it feels trivial right now, you can help yourself by exercising regularly, eating healthily, getting enough sleep, and not taking unnecessary risks. Then your body will help your psyche to recover faster. But yes, once or twice comfort food is okay.

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Don’t judge yourself
“It’s been 12 weeks since the breakup, actually I should be okay by now,” you might think, putting additional pressure on yourself that makes you feel even worse for not feeling better. This, as you probably know yourself, is an unhelpful cycle. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, it doesn’t affect how much the breakup hurts. Even relationships that aren’t really relationships can be terribly painful. give yourself time Whatever you’re feeling is okay.

Monitor your behavior critically
Do you think it’s healthy with a fake account through Tinderto swipe to see if you find your ex? Should you text her/him every night at 2 a.m. or check her/his Instagram every 30 minutes? You know the answer yourself. Even if you analyze every moment of your last weekend together until four in the morning, it is concerning. Observe your own behavior critically, question yourself and see if you really feel better after feeling Instagram for the umpteenth time. The answer is probably no. Try to stop this self-destructive behavior. If you can’t stop yourself, seek professional help.

Find a new routine
Especially if you have been with someone for a long time and maybe even lived together, then you have definitely developed many routines together that shape your everyday life. All of that is gone in one fell swoop. Work out new routines that are good for you. If you used to go to the cinema with your ex every Wednesday, suggest a Wednesday get-together or something similar to your friends. Fill in the gap with something that brings you joy. Because gaps will inevitably arise. And that’s okay too.

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Accept that certain questions may never be answered
Why doesn’t he*she want to be with me anymore? What happened? What I have done wrong? When did he*she know that? Was it all just a lie? How could it come to this?

At the end of a relationship, as the person who was left, you often have many questions. Some of them have no answers. You should accept that you will never understand the ending 100 percent. Maybe you’ll never get the background or all the facts, maybe your ex doesn’t even have them and doesn’t even know why the relationship suddenly didn’t feel right anymore. Accept that. Don’t bombard him*her with messages and above all don’t make your development dependent on whether you get Closure or not.

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