Should follow these 5 rules if you want to apologize

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Should follow these 5 rules if you want to apologize

Let’s be honest : formulating a correct, serious apology is often not that easy – but that should no longer deter us from at least trying! To make things a little easier in the future, we promised you five rules that you can use to make a proper grown-up apology, too!

1. Don’t even try to pretend that you understand the other person
No matter how hard you try, you will never experience a situation exactly like anyone else. Of course, it’s possible to have a rough idea of ??how something feels, but the experience isn’t the same. That doesn’t matter either, because: Your ability to exactly empathize with the pain of the other person is not necessary to hear and accept it and to take responsibility for your fault, because that’s what apologizing is all about, isn’t it?

2. Apologize for what you did
Newsflash : “I’m sorry to offend you” or “Sorry if you misunderstood” are not excuses! Apologize for what you did and don’t blame the other person. If you don’t know exactly why someone is hurting, find out (or admit that you don’t care anyway – but then you don’t have to apologize).

3. Tell the other what you want to do now to make things right
Instead of rattling off your memorized apology and then forgetting about it all, listen to the other person and show them how you want to make things right, or at least how you want to change your behavior in the future .

4. Avoid the word “but”
“I’m sorry, but…” – Stop. No proper apology begins like this. What follows is more of a discussion, if not an argument , in most cases – but hardly an honest reconciliation. The other person has something too Of course you have a right to speak up – but please, please wait for the right time and don’t mix your negative feelings with your apology, because that won’t work.

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5. Remember that the other doesn’t have to (automatically) forgive you
The person you are apologizing to doesn’t owe you anything. Let that sink in. If he*she doesn’t hug you right away and everything is forgiven , that’s totally okay. Everyone needs their time to process things. Just approach it as openly as possible and without expectations

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