What can you do if you are afraid of loneliness?


What can you do if you are afraid of loneliness?

42% of millennial women fear loneliness more than a cancer diagnosis. If you recognize yourself in the statement, read on. Because this number is frightening, but at the same time not surprising considering that we are in the middle of a pandemic of loneliness.

The 42% found a 2017 study by everday health . But it gets even better. Because loneliness is not only an unpleasant feeling, it also puts a strain on our health and our body. Chronic loneliness can have the same effect on the body as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Lonely but not alone
What is exciting is that everyone feels lonely in different situations. There is no general calculation for how many contacts one needs in order not to be lonely. Because that depends on what kind and amount of encounters you need individually. This is very different for extroverts and introverts, for example.

Due to Covid-19 and the many lockdowns and quarantine measures, more people were affected by loneliness than before. And that also changed the way we talked about it. Because the fear of loneliness was suddenly not only justified, but also something to talk about.

primal instincts
Where does the fear of being lonely come from? This is deeply anchored in us and comes from prehistoric times. Back then, it was vital for survival that we didn’t feel too comfortable when we were alone. Because only a group of people could help us to ensure our survival. Around 200 years ago, the word loneliness came up for the first time and became part of our vocabulary.

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The feeling of loneliness, as many of you know, does not imply being alone. One can also feel lonely in a group of people, as well as in romantic relationships. The loneliness rate is just as high when living in a partnership – 60% of married people report feeling lonely on a regular basis, according to Psychology Today .

If you too are afraid of loneliness, read on. Here are a few tips to help you deal with this feeling better:

quality time

Time you spend alone can also be quality time. Make time for yourself and try to find an activity that you can only do by yourself. So it’s good that you’re alone, otherwise you wouldn’t have the peace and quiet to do what’s good for you. For example, you could try meditating, journaling, dancing around the apartment, singing or practicing or learning an instrument, or reading quietly. You can do all these things with complete freedom when you are alone. Enjoy!

Pure joy

As children we knew exactly what brings us joy. Many of us lost this ability as adults. We exercise because it’s good for our body, or maybe just because it burns calories. We demand that we have to be good at our hobbies, and that often means that they don’t bring us any joy. To combat loneliness, it helps to be less productive and more into doing something you enjoy. It doesn’t matter what. Do you want to paint by numbers? do it You just want to experiment and bake a cake for yourself? Do it!

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good neighborhood

During the first lockdown, great neighborhood initiatives quickly emerged. Young people went shopping for older people, machines and tools were lent and people often met for small talks at a safe distance. Why does this have to be over after Corona? Introduce yourself to your neighbors, give them your number and ask if they would like a piece of the huge cake you baked for you. Especially if you help someone else, the feeling of loneliness will decrease.

friendly voice

Let me guess: your friends could call you any time of the day or night and you would be there for them and you would listen to them. But you don’t do it yourself because you don’t want to appear needy? Why not? Call her up and get some dopamine by catching up on the latest gossip or just reporting on your day. The voices of people you love will help immediately. You’re probably not the only one who feels better afterwards. Because who knows, maybe the other person feels the same way and he*she doesn’t want to address it either.

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