Why is the end of a relationship as important as start?


Why is the end of a relationship as important as start?

You probably know it: That incredible feeling when you meet someone and it clicks between you. The conversation between you flows effortlessly, you have the same kind of humor, you can’t keep your hands off each other and every minute you spend together is magic. When you don’t see each other, you’re wishing you were together and can’t wait to see each other again. And you’ve only known each other for a few days or weeks.

And just as it clicked in the beginning, it’s just over at some point. The connection between you dissolves. You have less contact, when you agree on something, it’s not as binding anymore. The magic is gone. Your time is up.

beginning and end
What is described here, many of you probably know from your life. Well-known couples psychologist Esther Perel thinks it’s beautiful to start and end new relationships. The end is part of it and often has nothing to do with oneself. Some connections are not suitable for the long term.

She explains, “We date exponentially more people than we marry, so it’s safe to assume that every seriously committed person out there has a few half-formed relationships, lost loves and broken hearts. Trying new relationships is part of life. So is ending relationships.”

In her work, she recognizes that more and more people are putting a lot of pressure on themselves when it comes to dating. The relationship should work, the dates should lead to something or they no longer want to get involved in something for fear of being hurt or disappointed. The couples psychologist points out that love is impossible without being aware that it can also be lost. That’s part of the game and the magic, they say.

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She invites you to get involved and take the pressure off yourself that every relationship must be forever: “The difficult thing about a relationship is that we can’t know how it’s going to go. So if we have a long-term romantic If we want to be in a relationship, we have to try again and again. Different possibilities enrich life. This also applies to potential partners. Perhaps it helps to know that lovesickness is inevitable, no matter if we have only been together for a few months or for the rest of our lives. The difference is whether we separate to heal alone or we do it together.”

Where are you going?
If you are unsure whether you should start dating again or what you expect from your date, she has some questions for you that you can ask yourself. On the other hand, they also offer great topics of conversation for the next date.

What do you like best at the beginning of a relationship?
What do you fear at the beginning of a relationship?
What questions would you like to ask me but don’t dare?
What do you think of monogamy?
What do you think of polyamory?
What is your idea of ??a perfect romantic evening?
What is one aspect of sexuality that feels mysterious to you?
Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?
What non-sexual thing feels sexual to you?
Do you have any deal breakers?
What are green flags in relationships for you?

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